Zach Christy tells story this Sun, students respond to Yarhouse (2:30, Westminster Presbyterian)

Program

This Sunday, October 16, 2:30-4:30 --

• Zachary Christy, musician, university student, and life-long Nazarene, will tell his coming-out story.
• And a panel of students will respond to the recent Dr. Mark Yarhouse presentations on campus.

Won't you share this opportunity with a friend who might be interested?

• On Sunday, October 23, AGC will not meet because of Fall Break.
• On Sunday, October 30, we will view together a video recording of a rapid-fire presentation on homosexuality by Dr. David Myers, psychology professor at Hope College, Holland, MI. Much of the recording is a synthesis of psychological research on homosexuality.
• On Sunday, November 6, Dr. Karl Martin, local expert on American literature and popular culture, will talk about what it is like to be a member of a church whose position on a social issue is not one he shares.
  

History

All God's Children (AGC) was founded to offer a safe space--especially for students--for open conversation on LGBT issues and faith. Programs include the telling of (usually first-person) stories, presentations by pastors and professors out of their study and experience, and the screening of documentary films. In the past, students and employees of universities, members of local churches, and residents of the larger San Diego and Southern California area have attended. All who come in a spirit of honest inquiry are welcome.

Meeting Space

AGC meets at its new Point Loma area host church, Westminster Presbyterian (USA), at the corner of Talbot and Canon, just across the intersection and downhill from the Fresh and Easy Market (Catalina Blvd) parking lot. There is parking on two levels if you use the Talbot-facing driveway. Those who use the lower lot can walk directly into the church library, our meeting space, on that level. Overflow parking is available on Talbot. We meet in the Library in the lowest level of the annex. Look for a directional sign near the parking lot. The church is also within easy walking distance of the nearby university campus.

We are grateful to the pastor, Rev. Dr. Tony Wolfe, staff and session (church board) of this congregation for its welcome to our discussion group. And thanks go to Sandy and Sheldon Sickler for facilitating this new relationship.

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For the past four academic years, All God's Children (AGC) has met almost weekly (except during some PLNU breaks) on Sundays, 2:30-4:30. Sessions are dedicated to an open discussion of LGBT issues and faith. Participants are asked to respectfully listen to and engage in a variety of contributions to discussion in a spirit of honest inquiry. Moderators ask participants to honor the announced program topic and to be courteous to speakers. The new church home of AGC is Westminster Presbyterian Church (USA), 3598 Talbot St. (at the corner of Canon and Talbot), in Point Loma. The library is one level below the upper parking lot and and on the same level as the lower lot.

Re posting Darlene Tando's Blog for Transgender people

Gender Blog by Darlene Tando, LCSW

This blog is about gender and all its intricacies… I will be blogging about latest research, reflections from my work with gender non-conforming and transgender clients, as well as information about resources.

Southern Comfort

I finally watched the documentary "Southern Comfort"; it's one I've been meaning to watch for years. I wouldn't recommend it to someone trying to find out more about the trans community, but it addresses a VERY important topic. It's the story of a Female to Male transgender individual named Robert Eads, who died from ovarian/cervical cancer after being refused medical treatment. It shocks and saddens me that anyone in the medical field would refuse to treat someone in need of help, regardless of their race, gender identity, social status, anything… and as recently as 1999!

The main reason the doctors cited not wanting to treat him was that it might make the other patients in the waiting room uncomfortable or that treating him would damage their reputation. As a result, over the course of the movie you see a very vibrant and loving person diminish and then pass away.

However, I'm not necessarily writing this blog about the outrage of refusing to treat a trans individual medically. The main reason I chose to write this is to remind trans men: if you still have a cervix, ovaries, or a uterus, you are at risk for cancer in these areas! I know reading this, thinking about this, or talking about this is just about the last thing you want to do, and many trans men avoid the tests for these cancers like the PLAGUE. Having a pap smear is an uncomfortable experience at best for most women. For trans men, I can only begin to imagine how awkward/humiliating/discouraging having to go to one of these appointments must be. PLEASE GO ANYWAY. It's better to feel like you're going to die of embarrassment then to actually die of cancer. Yes, I am trying to scare you into going. To quote Mr. Eads himself, "The last part of me that is female is killing me."

I have a couple of practitioners in San Diego to whom some of my trans male clients have gone for these types of exams, and have had nothing but nice things to say about the doctors. In addition to this, I have called both of these doctors' offices and asked if they are open to having their names on my resource list for my trans male clients. They both said yes! Please see the bottom of this post for their names and contact information.

If you don't have medical insurance and can't afford to pay out of pocket for these providers, there are some low-cost clinics in San Diego that could perform these tests. If you don't live in San Diego and you need help finding a place to go, email me and I will help you research this. Or, if you are too shy or scared to call a doctor's office to find out if they would be trans-friendly, let me know! I will call for you. Client or not…even if I've never met you.

Once you have an appointment, one thing you can do to make the experience more comfortable is call the doctor's office or clinic the morning of your appointment. If you are too nervous to do so, have a partner, family member, or trusted friend do it for you. You or they can let the front desk staff know who you are, what you will be seen for, and how you present so there is no confusion when you arrive. You may need to gently remind them they are to use male pronouns and your chosen name (if not yet legally changed).

One important point made in the documentary is that since Robert transitioned later in life, he was close to menopause. Because of this, he was advised he did not need to have his uterus and other female reproductive organs taken out. I believe the loose guideline for getting a hysterectomy after taking Testosterone is 5 years. If you are an existing client of mine and need a letter to have the hysterectomy performed, let me know.

The most important thing is that you don't ignore this.

Come on, be a man… go get a pelvic exam!

For more information go to:

http://www.ftmguide.org/tandhealth.html#pap

http://www.checkitoutguys.ca/

http://www.ftmguide.org/hysto.html#why

San Diego Providers:

Dr. Alisa Williams*

619-299-3111

4060 Fourth Ave Ste 640

San Diego, CA 92103

*Dr. Williams also does hysterectomies

Dr. Laura Norton Petrovich

(619) 435-2234

1224 10th St Ste 200

Coronado, CA 92118

Gender Identity of Children by Darlene Tando

Gender Blog by Darlene Tando, LCSW

This blog is about gender and all its intricacies… I will be blogging about latest research, reflections from my work with gender non-conforming and transgender clients, as well as information about resources.

The Gender Identity of Children

I am thrilled to be seeing more and more transgender children as part of my practice. To me, it's a very natural combination of two of my specialties: working with children, and working with transgender individuals! I have a special place in my heart for these gender nonconforming children, because I feel like in some way it's a way of honoring my adult transgender clients. For many of them, if not all, having their gender identity heard and addressed as children would have made their life paths a lot easier.

I've had people ask me if children can really understand their gender identity at a young age. My answer is, "of course!". Most of us know what gender we are from a very young age. We don't have to think much about it; our assigned gender matches our biological sex and becomes part of our stats, like where we live, what color hair we have, etc. For gender nonconforming/transgender children, this is not so simple. They may feel a discomfort with their body or assigned gender, pronouns, etc. However, typically this comes from being denied being able to partake in an activity or interest that is typically not seen as acceptable for one's assigned gender. For children who are not allowed to express themselves in their preferred gender, or the interests come naturally to them, I believe this creates a feeling of unrest (at best); deep shame and resentment at worst.

Children are concrete, and are more interested in what they want to DO and what kind of fun they want to have than abstractly thinking about what gender or societal category they fit into. Additionally, children don't have the baggage and the tendency to over-think the way we adults do. They know what they know, and they feel what they feel. In some ways this makes expressing one's gender identity much simpler, especially if the child is in an environment that encourages natural and genuine expression of self. If a child engages in play that society does not typically categorize as that of their assigned gender, let them. This behavior could mean any number of things, but the most important message is "you are ok any way you are". Some parents worry about future teasing, and discourage them from engaging in behaviors to prevent teasing in other environments. This is a valid concern which I don't mean to minimize. Certainly the parents can explain the likely response of others (informed consent, if you will) and then equip, equip, equip with coping skills to deal with these responses. (Helping your gender nonconforming child deal with teasing is such an important topic I promise to address it more in a future blog.) For now, I will say that beyond equipping your child to deal with teasing, establishing that pure and unconditional acceptance at home is the most crucial part of growing up.

Most gender nonconforming children understand "the rules", and the expectations in their family/society/community/school. They may know how they feel and who they are, but most also understand what others think and what others want. They learn to "play the game" as we all do, giving answers to make others feel better, even when it's not the truth. Parents unknowingly ask leading questions all the time, and kids know what their parents want to hear.

Additionally, some children simply don't have the verbal skills to express what they want or how badly they want it. Other children are not aware of their gender incongruence until puberty (at which times it often becomes a feeling of crisis). Many people are not aware until adulthood! This blog is specifically in regards to children who have their gender incongruence present in their consciousness from a very early age.

If your child who was born a biological female says "I'm a boy", "I wish I were a boy", or asks Santa for a penis, listen up. If your biological male says "I'm a girl", "I wish I were a girl", or prays to wake up the next morning a girl, listen up. These children know how they feel, and need your help. I'll be writing more blogs about what to do if you are a family in this situation… stay tuned.

Links about Bisexuality

 

1.     Bisexual Resource Center - Supporting Bisexual Community

2.     Welcome To The American Institute Of Bisexuality

3.     Bisexuality 101: Am I bisexual? - National Bisexuality | Examiner.com

4.     WHAT IS BISEXUALITY? By Kathy Labriola

5.     Bisexuality Basics

6.     Women's bisexuality an 'identity,' not phase - USATODAY.com

 

 

Freedom to Serve!

September 19, 2011 News of Note   Follow That Blog Finally. The Freedom to Serve. On Tues., Sept. 20, 2011, after 18 years of government mandated employment discrimination and more than 14,500 discharges, the military's "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" policy will officially expire. Brave and strong gay and lesbian servicemembers who help protect their nation and its citizens will no longer be subject to discharge on the basis of their sexual orientation and no longer forced to serve in silence. READ MORE...  It's Time to Celebrate! Tuesday, Sept 20, 6 pm, Freedom to Serve  On Tuesday, September 20, 2011, Don't Ask, Don't Tell will officially expire and LGB Servicemembers will no longer be subject to discharge from the military on the basis of their sexual orientation. Join us for this historic occasion at The Center at 6 pm, as we celebrate their long overdue Freedom to Serve. Join us for this historic occasion, as we celebrate their long overdue Freedom to Serve. We will hear from Eric Alva, a gay Marine who was the first American to be wounded in the war in Iraq, retired Colonel Stewart Bornhoft, former Naval Lieutenant Jenny Kopfstein, who was discharged under DADT,  and former Marine Evelyn Thomas, co-founder of Sanctuary Project Veterans. The following establishments have confirmed a Military Discount (one per person with military ID) for that evening: Gossip Grill, Baja Betty's and Urban Mo's. For more information, contact Denise Serrano at dserrano@thecentersd.org or 619.692.2077 x103. Sunday, Sept. 25, 8 am – the Event We've All Been Waiting For… AIDS Walk San Diego! Whether you're a walker, a runner or a "register to donate and raise funds but let someone else do the sweaty stuff," AIDS Walk San Diego needs you! Register online at www.aidswalksd.org then join us in Balboa Park on Sunday, Sept. 25 at 8 am for the 10 K run or 8:15 am for the 5K walk (or donate extra and sleep in). More than a dozen different agencies — serving thousands of clients — rely on funds raised at the annual AIDS Walk to help provide essential prevention and care programs to thousands of men, women and children living with HIV/AIDS. You make a difference – join us! Christopher's Center Connection Less than one week until AIDS Walk! Hope to see you this Sunday.  We are also one month from The Center's 38th Anniversary Gala on Saturday October 22nd 2011, 6:00 – 10:00 p.m. at the Hilton San Diego Bayfront! The Center's Anniversary Gala is the premier LGBT event of the year, bringing together more than 600 hundred of our closest friends for a great evening of dinner and dancing in support of our vital programs and services.  Sign up today to host a table and join us on October 22nd for a cocktail hour, a fabulous silent auction, live entertainment and a delicious gourmet dinner, all benefiting The Center! Christopher Mills Major Gifts Officer Saturday, Oct. 29, 7 pm, Nightmare on Normal Street Nightmare on Normal Street, Hillcrest's Halloween block party, will be held on Saturday, October 29 from 7-10 pm on Normal Street at University Avenue. The Outrageous Nicole returns as emcee for the fabulous costume contest – don't miss it! Costume contest registration is limited to the first 85 entries and will close promptly at 8:30 pm. The grand prize will be $1000! Tickets are only $12.50 online (includes $5 in drink tickets), $10 at the door (with no drink tickets) or $50 for VIP (includes reserved seating and complimentary drinks – limited availability, available online only). Buy your tickets online now! Come join us for the biggest Halloween party in Hillcrest and support The Center! This is a 21+ event with adult content. ID is required. Equality Voters! Are you registered? Find out at www.sdvote.com. Every vote matters. Want to vote by mail in the comfort of your home? It's easy! Click on this link to the mail ballot application.   Save the Dates Sunday, Sept. 25 – AIDS Walk San Diego Saturday, Oct. 22 – The Center's Anniversary Gala Saturday, Oct. 29 – Nightmare on Normal Street Spotlight Events    Wednesday, Sept. 21, 12 noon, Sanctuary Project: Pit-Bulls for Benefits Join us as Corporal Evelyn Thomas and Linda Sanders of The Sanctuary Project talk about the next steps after the repeal of Don't Ask Don't Tell (DADT).  The Sanctuary Project assists LGBT military and their families obtain benefits they are entitled to but may not be receiving due to DADT and the Defense of Marriage Act.  RSVP by Monday, Sept. 19 to seniors@thecentersd.org or 619.692.2077, ext. 205. Tuesday, Sept. 27, 7 pm, Got Something to Discuss? Join the 20-Somethings Men's Group! Connect to The Center and the community. Join other 18-28 year olds to talk about relationships, sexual health, activism, community building and more. The men's group meets on the 4th Tuesday of the month at 7 pm. For more information, contact Aaron Heier at 619.692.2077 x211, or aheier@thecentersd.org. Program Activities: Youth, Seniors, Families, Men, Women, HIV Community and More Volunteers Make the World Go 'Round! Get Your Gala On Friday, Sept. 30, Open Mic at Hillcrest Youth Center Wednesday, Oct. 5, 7 pm, Jewish Federation of San Diego County Wants to Hear From You   Friday, Oct. 7, 2 pm, 50 and Better Together Gallery Tour at Noel-Baza Fine Art Saturday, Oct. 15, Youth Out at the Park Saturday, October 15, 4 pm, Family Matters Halloween Carnival & Costume Contest   Thursday, Oct. 27, 6 pm, Harvest Howl to Benefit Youth Housing HIV Testing at The Center HIV tests are available at The Center Monday/Wednesday, 9 am-2 pm, Tuesday/Thursday, 9 am-3:15 pm and Friday, 9 am-1:45 pm. For more information, call 619.692.2077 x101. HIV Behavioral Health Services & Counseling (English & Spanish) Counseling services for men and women living with HIV are available FREE at The Center. Whether you just need some quick help with a specific life challenge or need a little more time to build up your coping skills, services are available to individuals, couples, and families. For more information or to schedule an appointment, call 619.692.2077 x208. A Fabulous Menu of Giving Opportunities! No matter what strikes your passion and heart most deeply -- youth seniors, families, housing, equality work -- there are a menu of giving opportunities to help support the nearly 50,000 service visits for LGBT San Diegans that we provide every year! Every dollar you can give helps to support the services, projects and programs that make a difference for so many in the San Diego LGBT community. You don't have to give thousands to make a difference in lives. Give what you can and together we can all keep making a difference! Thank you for your generosity and for all you do! Community Thursday, Sept. 22, 7 pm, Pep Rally for Trevor Project Edward II at Diversionary – Epic! Gun Hill Road at Landmark Hillcrest Saturday, Oct. 15, 7 pm, Follies at the Met(ropolitan Community Church) Monday, October 24, 7:30 pm, k.d. lang at downtown's Balboa Theatre! Saturday, October 29, 6:30 pm, Trunk 'n Treat at MCC Looking for Great Restaurants That Give Back to the Community? Stellar Price: A Deal for You, A Donation for The Center!