Zach Christy tells story this Sun, students respond to Yarhouse (2:30, Westminster Presbyterian)

Program

This Sunday, October 16, 2:30-4:30 --

• Zachary Christy, musician, university student, and life-long Nazarene, will tell his coming-out story.
• And a panel of students will respond to the recent Dr. Mark Yarhouse presentations on campus.

Won't you share this opportunity with a friend who might be interested?

• On Sunday, October 23, AGC will not meet because of Fall Break.
• On Sunday, October 30, we will view together a video recording of a rapid-fire presentation on homosexuality by Dr. David Myers, psychology professor at Hope College, Holland, MI. Much of the recording is a synthesis of psychological research on homosexuality.
• On Sunday, November 6, Dr. Karl Martin, local expert on American literature and popular culture, will talk about what it is like to be a member of a church whose position on a social issue is not one he shares.
  

History

All God's Children (AGC) was founded to offer a safe space--especially for students--for open conversation on LGBT issues and faith. Programs include the telling of (usually first-person) stories, presentations by pastors and professors out of their study and experience, and the screening of documentary films. In the past, students and employees of universities, members of local churches, and residents of the larger San Diego and Southern California area have attended. All who come in a spirit of honest inquiry are welcome.

Meeting Space

AGC meets at its new Point Loma area host church, Westminster Presbyterian (USA), at the corner of Talbot and Canon, just across the intersection and downhill from the Fresh and Easy Market (Catalina Blvd) parking lot. There is parking on two levels if you use the Talbot-facing driveway. Those who use the lower lot can walk directly into the church library, our meeting space, on that level. Overflow parking is available on Talbot. We meet in the Library in the lowest level of the annex. Look for a directional sign near the parking lot. The church is also within easy walking distance of the nearby university campus.

We are grateful to the pastor, Rev. Dr. Tony Wolfe, staff and session (church board) of this congregation for its welcome to our discussion group. And thanks go to Sandy and Sheldon Sickler for facilitating this new relationship.

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For the past four academic years, All God's Children (AGC) has met almost weekly (except during some PLNU breaks) on Sundays, 2:30-4:30. Sessions are dedicated to an open discussion of LGBT issues and faith. Participants are asked to respectfully listen to and engage in a variety of contributions to discussion in a spirit of honest inquiry. Moderators ask participants to honor the announced program topic and to be courteous to speakers. The new church home of AGC is Westminster Presbyterian Church (USA), 3598 Talbot St. (at the corner of Canon and Talbot), in Point Loma. The library is one level below the upper parking lot and and on the same level as the lower lot.

Re posting Darlene Tando's Blog for Transgender people

Gender Blog by Darlene Tando, LCSW

This blog is about gender and all its intricacies… I will be blogging about latest research, reflections from my work with gender non-conforming and transgender clients, as well as information about resources.

Southern Comfort

I finally watched the documentary "Southern Comfort"; it's one I've been meaning to watch for years. I wouldn't recommend it to someone trying to find out more about the trans community, but it addresses a VERY important topic. It's the story of a Female to Male transgender individual named Robert Eads, who died from ovarian/cervical cancer after being refused medical treatment. It shocks and saddens me that anyone in the medical field would refuse to treat someone in need of help, regardless of their race, gender identity, social status, anything… and as recently as 1999!

The main reason the doctors cited not wanting to treat him was that it might make the other patients in the waiting room uncomfortable or that treating him would damage their reputation. As a result, over the course of the movie you see a very vibrant and loving person diminish and then pass away.

However, I'm not necessarily writing this blog about the outrage of refusing to treat a trans individual medically. The main reason I chose to write this is to remind trans men: if you still have a cervix, ovaries, or a uterus, you are at risk for cancer in these areas! I know reading this, thinking about this, or talking about this is just about the last thing you want to do, and many trans men avoid the tests for these cancers like the PLAGUE. Having a pap smear is an uncomfortable experience at best for most women. For trans men, I can only begin to imagine how awkward/humiliating/discouraging having to go to one of these appointments must be. PLEASE GO ANYWAY. It's better to feel like you're going to die of embarrassment then to actually die of cancer. Yes, I am trying to scare you into going. To quote Mr. Eads himself, "The last part of me that is female is killing me."

I have a couple of practitioners in San Diego to whom some of my trans male clients have gone for these types of exams, and have had nothing but nice things to say about the doctors. In addition to this, I have called both of these doctors' offices and asked if they are open to having their names on my resource list for my trans male clients. They both said yes! Please see the bottom of this post for their names and contact information.

If you don't have medical insurance and can't afford to pay out of pocket for these providers, there are some low-cost clinics in San Diego that could perform these tests. If you don't live in San Diego and you need help finding a place to go, email me and I will help you research this. Or, if you are too shy or scared to call a doctor's office to find out if they would be trans-friendly, let me know! I will call for you. Client or not…even if I've never met you.

Once you have an appointment, one thing you can do to make the experience more comfortable is call the doctor's office or clinic the morning of your appointment. If you are too nervous to do so, have a partner, family member, or trusted friend do it for you. You or they can let the front desk staff know who you are, what you will be seen for, and how you present so there is no confusion when you arrive. You may need to gently remind them they are to use male pronouns and your chosen name (if not yet legally changed).

One important point made in the documentary is that since Robert transitioned later in life, he was close to menopause. Because of this, he was advised he did not need to have his uterus and other female reproductive organs taken out. I believe the loose guideline for getting a hysterectomy after taking Testosterone is 5 years. If you are an existing client of mine and need a letter to have the hysterectomy performed, let me know.

The most important thing is that you don't ignore this.

Come on, be a man… go get a pelvic exam!

For more information go to:

http://www.ftmguide.org/tandhealth.html#pap

http://www.checkitoutguys.ca/

http://www.ftmguide.org/hysto.html#why

San Diego Providers:

Dr. Alisa Williams*

619-299-3111

4060 Fourth Ave Ste 640

San Diego, CA 92103

*Dr. Williams also does hysterectomies

Dr. Laura Norton Petrovich

(619) 435-2234

1224 10th St Ste 200

Coronado, CA 92118

Gender Identity of Children by Darlene Tando

Gender Blog by Darlene Tando, LCSW

This blog is about gender and all its intricacies… I will be blogging about latest research, reflections from my work with gender non-conforming and transgender clients, as well as information about resources.

The Gender Identity of Children

I am thrilled to be seeing more and more transgender children as part of my practice. To me, it's a very natural combination of two of my specialties: working with children, and working with transgender individuals! I have a special place in my heart for these gender nonconforming children, because I feel like in some way it's a way of honoring my adult transgender clients. For many of them, if not all, having their gender identity heard and addressed as children would have made their life paths a lot easier.

I've had people ask me if children can really understand their gender identity at a young age. My answer is, "of course!". Most of us know what gender we are from a very young age. We don't have to think much about it; our assigned gender matches our biological sex and becomes part of our stats, like where we live, what color hair we have, etc. For gender nonconforming/transgender children, this is not so simple. They may feel a discomfort with their body or assigned gender, pronouns, etc. However, typically this comes from being denied being able to partake in an activity or interest that is typically not seen as acceptable for one's assigned gender. For children who are not allowed to express themselves in their preferred gender, or the interests come naturally to them, I believe this creates a feeling of unrest (at best); deep shame and resentment at worst.

Children are concrete, and are more interested in what they want to DO and what kind of fun they want to have than abstractly thinking about what gender or societal category they fit into. Additionally, children don't have the baggage and the tendency to over-think the way we adults do. They know what they know, and they feel what they feel. In some ways this makes expressing one's gender identity much simpler, especially if the child is in an environment that encourages natural and genuine expression of self. If a child engages in play that society does not typically categorize as that of their assigned gender, let them. This behavior could mean any number of things, but the most important message is "you are ok any way you are". Some parents worry about future teasing, and discourage them from engaging in behaviors to prevent teasing in other environments. This is a valid concern which I don't mean to minimize. Certainly the parents can explain the likely response of others (informed consent, if you will) and then equip, equip, equip with coping skills to deal with these responses. (Helping your gender nonconforming child deal with teasing is such an important topic I promise to address it more in a future blog.) For now, I will say that beyond equipping your child to deal with teasing, establishing that pure and unconditional acceptance at home is the most crucial part of growing up.

Most gender nonconforming children understand "the rules", and the expectations in their family/society/community/school. They may know how they feel and who they are, but most also understand what others think and what others want. They learn to "play the game" as we all do, giving answers to make others feel better, even when it's not the truth. Parents unknowingly ask leading questions all the time, and kids know what their parents want to hear.

Additionally, some children simply don't have the verbal skills to express what they want or how badly they want it. Other children are not aware of their gender incongruence until puberty (at which times it often becomes a feeling of crisis). Many people are not aware until adulthood! This blog is specifically in regards to children who have their gender incongruence present in their consciousness from a very early age.

If your child who was born a biological female says "I'm a boy", "I wish I were a boy", or asks Santa for a penis, listen up. If your biological male says "I'm a girl", "I wish I were a girl", or prays to wake up the next morning a girl, listen up. These children know how they feel, and need your help. I'll be writing more blogs about what to do if you are a family in this situation… stay tuned.